“American Death Star” petition clears threshold for White House response

It’s official: the petition urging the White House to “secure resources and funding, and begin construction of a Death Star by 2016” has received the necessary 25,000 signatures to trigger a White House response.

The petition reads, in part:

By focusing our defense resources into a space-superiority platform and weapon system such as a Death Star, the government can spur job creation in the fields of construction, engineering, space exploration, and more, and strengthen our national defense.

Securing resources and funding may prove to be a bit of a challenge; the amount of iron necessary to build an imperial Death Star would require taking a big chunk out of the Earth’s core and would cost roughly $852 quadrillion, or 13,000 times the Earth’s GDP.

death starThe petition takes advantage of a new White House initiative that promises an official response to any petition receiving over 25,000 signatures on petitions.whitehouse.gov. The site has a wide range of petitions, from serious to secessionist (and counter-secessionist) to unapologetic trolling.

Some of the more ridiculous petitions include those which ask the administration to allow soldiers to keep their hands in their pockets, or nationalize the Twinkie industry to “prevent our nation from losing her sweet creamy center.”

Another popular petition concerned Texas’ secession, though it remains unclear how many of the signatories were non-Texans simply hoping to rid us of Lone Star State once and for all.

For the most part, though, the petitions on the site are serious and shed light on the various niche issues that citizens wish to bring to the government’s attention.

I can’t wait to read the White House’s response to this one.

White House Death Star petition

Jon Green graduated from Kenyon College with a B.A. in Political Science and high honors in Political Cognition. He worked as a field organizer for Congressman Tom Perriello in 2010 and a Regional Field Director for President Obama's re-election campaign in 2012. Jon writes on a number of topics, but pays especially close attention to elections, religion and political cognition. Follow him on Twitter at @_Jon_Green, and on Google+. .

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9 Responses to ““American Death Star” petition clears threshold for White House response”

  1. hollywoodstein says:

    I thought we already had one.

  2. theoracle says:

    I waiting to sign the petition for an “American Birth Star.”

  3. karmanot says:

    American exceptionalism……

  4. Peter Barker says:

    At the very least, a planet sized death ray couldn’t cost us any less than what we’re spending on the F-35 boondoggle.

  5. HeartlandLiberal says:

    There is actually a lesson here, and a serious point to this petition.

    Wars, such as WWI, when funded on the books, not off the books like Bush did, create an “artificial stimulus” of the first order. They pull the people together, they generate jobs. This is exactly what happened at the end of the 1930’s into the 1940’s. The stimulus of WWI ended the depression quite effectively. The problem is, our masters of the universe will only vote for such a stimulus for war. Somehow, doing so becomes heresy when the target of the stimulus is peace time recovery, and will cover things like the nearly three trillion dollars in crumbling US infrastructure; or record continuing unemployment; or record levels of poverty and hunger; or the ongoing destruction of the middle class.

    The wealthy elite of this nation are doing everything in their power to prevent a resurgence of effective government, because it will bring regulations on business to throttle their criminal activities, and decelerate their efforts to reduce the middle class to wage slaves; and will slow down or reverse the massive transfer of wealth to the 1% that has occurred over the past 50 years. Things are pretty bad when 140 people own as much wealth in the United States as the lower 150 million people. But that is precisely where we are as a nation.

  6. karmanot says:

    We could Reagan’s corpse in orbit. That would be enough to intimidate the lessers of the Empire.

  7. RepubAnon says:

    A better example of weaponized Keynesian economics would be hard to find…

  8. Unkawillbur says:

    It’s not like we actually need one as large as in the stories. I mean, I bet a simple 500ft diameter globe would hold everything necessary for World Domination.

  9. UncleBucky says:

    Man, the people have spoken, whew!

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