Pastor denies new church intended to look like giant penis from space

The architects, and owners, of a new Christian Science Church in Dixon, Illinois (pop. 15,733) are denying that their place of worship was intentionally built to look like an erect penis.

But there it is on Google Maps, in all its glory: 324 W 1st St, Dixon, IL.


Ceci n’est pas une pipe.

The church claims the exotic shape of the building is intended to preserve a tree just in front.

Or perhaps it’s a bush.

It’s not entirely clear when the discovery was first made, or who made it, but the chatter about the church has been going on for a few weeks now.  And while the church is trying to stay of good humor about the whole affair, their patience is clearly wearing thin.

“The Internet has great capability for good,” church officer Scott Shepherd told the local paper,, “and great capability for gossip and destruction…. We didn’t design it to be seen as what they’re seeing, and we didn’t design it to be seen from above.”

Having said that, the church gets serious kudos for having a bit of fun with the whole thing on their Facebook page.

First there was the post announcing “Giant fig leaf coming soon”:


And even better, there’s this week’s sermon:


(H/t to FreakOutNation)

(I’m told that in order to actually see my Facebook posts in your feed, you need to “follow” me – so say the experts.)

CyberDisobedience on Substack | @aravosis | Facebook | Instagram | LinkedIn. John Aravosis is the Executive Editor of AMERICAblog, which he founded in 2004. He has a joint law degree (JD) and masters in Foreign Service from Georgetown; and has worked in the US Senate, World Bank, Children's Defense Fund, the United Nations Development Programme, and as a stringer for the Economist. He is a frequent TV pundit, having appeared on the O'Reilly Factor, Hardball, World News Tonight, Nightline, AM Joy & Reliable Sources, among others. John lives in Washington, DC. .

Share This Post

49 Responses to “Pastor denies new church intended to look like giant penis from space”

  1. John... says:

    They couldn’t tell this by the blueprints before it was built? Right!

  2. pericles9 says:

    LOVE that greenery! It’s healthy, you know.

  3. Alarms & Discursions says:

    My balls and head aren’t octagons made of wedges, nor do I have the telltale “Clinton curve,” so all I see is a church.

  4. Felis Leo says:

    In Google Earth, it is a flaccid penis. Someone reversed the photo and removed the Google Earth notations from the photograph.

  5. Felis Leo says:

    ARchitects hide behind many excused. I know of one building in Kuwait whose corridor shape is a series of Ichthus shapes. Owners never knew this, but the architect must have intented it to be so. There are too many buildings in the Middle East whose architects were christians, and they have ” planted” such symbols throughout. The Burj Al Arab Hotel’s mast is shaped like a Cross, and originally Dubai car number plates carried this sign of the building, only to be prevented entry to Saudi Arabia. Car number plates were subsequently changed.

  6. Felis Leo says:

    Shiva Lingam is an oval shaped barrel, and is vertically erected, and never goes flaccid!!

  7. Felis Leo says:

    But then it would have looked like a broken penis….

  8. KLH says:

    Church of the Second Coming?

  9. DRoseDARs says:

    And it’s in DIXon. *snork*

  10. LanceThruster says:

    You should have seen the visuals when the milk trucks collided in the intersection of 2nd and Highland.


  11. LanceThruster says:

    Is that where Ted Haggard ministers?

  12. annatopia says:

    another one for a good laugh… NSFWish.

  13. KC Jenner says:

    I got a good laugh out of #5 – the garage for flying cars!

  14. Oh god I’d never seen that!

  15. Ok, I was going by the article, but you’re right, the photo does that make that clear.

  16. Dakotahgeo says:

    They’re kinda light on the ‘Christian’ aspect also.

  17. Dakotahgeo says:

    Perhaps it was a ‘broken’ penis and needed healing! Not out of the realm of possibilities, y’know!

  18. karmanot says:

    If I’m not mistaken, that is a penis of color.

  19. docsterx says:

    When the church is jammed full of excited members it is capable of expanding until it obstructs Highland Avenue.

  20. Mike_in_the_Tundra says:

    I’ve seen a couple curves that weren’t too sexy.

  21. Angst in Berwyn says:

    Quite so. Reagan was the biggest dick ever elected president. And he set in motion the economic policies that are still screwing a majority of Americans today.

  22. Monoceros Forth says:

    They don’t have any “Science” either but they still call themselves that.

  23. heimaey says:

    The curvy ones are the sexiest ones too.

  24. News Nag says:

    Anyway, the tree serves as the pubic hair.

  25. News Nag says:

    Of course, the tree is the pubic hair.

  26. Sam_Handwich says:

    Christian Science churches don’t have a “pastor”.

  27. BillFromDover says:

    W or HW?

  28. goulo says:

    In case anyone else has trouble finding it, the church seems to be on 2nd street, not 1st street as the blog post says…

  29. Mark_in_MN says:


  30. Naja pallida says:

    Or maybe it was whoever designed the CN Tower. “No, don’t worry about it. Let’s just let him work out his problems, real big. Then we’ll build a stadium below it and call it the Scro Dome… err, Sky Dome.”

  31. Naja pallida says:

    Given the plot, it seems to me that a more logical architect would have gone with a basic L-shape. Would have afforded more internal space, as well as simplified the design.

  32. The_Fixer says:

    Oh Geez! I can’t believe some of those things! And you’re right, #10 is like total oversight… or maybe a sympathizer who thought he would be the only one who would notice that?

  33. Mark_in_MN says:

    The church claims that the “shape of the building is intended to preserve a tree just in front.” Sorry, but I’m not sure that makes any sense, either. Looking at the lot, the tree, and the building, it seems that there were plenty of ways to preserve that tree and not shape the building anything like that.

  34. The_Fixer says:

    It was a long, long time ago, but I once checked out a the CS church in my quest to find the one religion that made sense. No luck, there (or anywhere else, for that matter). But I do know that they don’t have Pastors, nor do they have sermons – they have “readings”. The readings are given on a rotating basis by longtime members of the local church, most often by some level of “practitioner”. A practitioner is a kind of spiritual counselor/advisor to anyone in the church (or outside of it, for that matter) who feels that they need the service. Most often, it is for healing type of prayer.

    Seems to me that local church business is conducted by a board of directors-style entity. I could be misremembering that, though. It was long ago that I checked into that.

    Regardless, I wonder why the discrepancy. Perhaps they found it easier to say that stuff then try to explain their atypical church structure.

  35. mirror says:

    Maybe the architect had an uncontrollable obsession with drawing dicks like the character in Superbad.

  36. mirror says:

    “What might make you think there was something wrong. Well, perhaps the first thing you’d notice is the slight enlargement of one of the testicles.”

    That’s when I laughed my milk through my nose. I couldn’t watch anymore.

  37. Naja pallida says:

    Well… what’s the difference between a church that looks like a penis, and one that just looks like someone is compensating, like, say, the Vatican?

  38. Peter in Oakland says:

    I just checked the web site to confirm that CS churches don’t have pastors!
    I looked at Dixon church FB page and saw “sermons” from the pastor.
    Very strange…

  39. Indigo says:


  40. Indigo says:

    Maybe it’s a Shiva Lingam.

  41. BeccaM says:

    I don’t normally spend much time over at Buzzfeed, but…

    Check out #10.

  42. CS says:

    Remember, too, that Dixon is Ronny Reagan’s home town. . . somehow it all makes sense now.

  43. Monoceros Forth says:

    We didn’t design it to be seen as what they’re seeing, and we didn’t design it to be seen from above.

    Not even in a blueprint? Come on. It takes a lot of effort to design and construct a building with such an odd, curved shape. You can’t convince me that nobody noticed until after it was done.

  44. Tor says:

    If you turn the photo over, it is a flaccid penis…. hehe.

  45. karmanot says:

    “Or perhaps it’s a bush.” That too! ROTFL

  46. MichaelS says:

    Once you’re forced to deny your church doesn’t look like a penis, well that’s when you know it looks like a penis.

  47. PeteWa says:

    and on a serious note, the church might want to look into this:

  48. PeteWa says:

    a penis shaped church in Dick’s Son Illinois – thank you, universe.

  49. Ce n’est pas une pipe. C’est une église, qui rassemble une bite!

© 2021 AMERICAblog Media, LLC. All rights reserved. · Entries RSS